Greetings! First and foremost, I hope I didn't fool anybody with the picture of the introduction post. I do intend to review Scalps at some point, but not just yet. No, this review will focus on another slasher flick: Pieces. To start things off, there are two different versions of the film. There is the English version and the Spanish version. Other than obvious language differences, there are slight differences in a few scenes, but nothing that detracts from the overall film. The most glaring issue in my eyes is the score. The original Spanish version houses a beautiful piano driven score by Librado Pastor, while the English version is generic in about every way possible. I would wager that the score for the English version is public domain music. For this reason, I prefer the Spanish version of the film, though I do enjoy the English version as well.
Moving forward, this film was directed by Juan Piquer Simon, who is also known for the equally cheesy and awesome Slugs from 1988. The movie stars early 80's genre favorites Christopher George, Linda Day George (Christopher's wife, and often costar.), and Edmund Purdom. Getting into the plot of the picture, the story starts off in the early 40's with small boy building a jigsaw puzzle of a very nubile young woman. All goes well for the little guy until his mother bursts into the room. She is not very pleased to see this, and instantly berates the boy for such a finding. She then begins to bash the father of the boy, whom we are told was the original owner of the puzzle. As she takes the puzzle away, she is soon given quite the surprise.
The police are soon called, and they quickly discover the grisly scene. They discover the mother with her head decapitated, and find the young boy in a closet. Now, it should be noted that the police think that someone broke into the house and committed this crime. They find the boy covered in blood, and I would assume they could have checked for fingerprints on the weapons. Who in the hell would not consider the boy as a suspect? Well, perhaps I'm grabbing for straws on this one.
Our story jumps 40 years into the future, where we are greeted by someone in black gloves going through some belongings, some of which that should be quite familiar. This person also begins to assemble the puzzle of the same young woman that the boy had years and years ago. We are next greeted to a young college girl running into a huge mirror for no real reason at all. Universities can be dangerous places, but never have I seen guys carrying huge mirrors of impending doom. This is fairly fitting, as she is the first to be offed by our masked killer with a hefty chainsaw! This killing spurs an investigation by the police. The police go to talk to the dean of the college, and are given the old in and out talk. We are also introduced to two of the possible suspects for the murders, one being a professor at the college, and another being the creepy greens keeper.
It should be noted before we go any further into this review, that the film starts in a very giallo-esque fashion. A mystery soon begins to be painted, and many could be the killer. Heck, the killer uses the traditional blacks gloves, and covers every part of the body to avoid identification. This alone makes Pieces one of the more unique slashers at the time. Yet, it doesn't have the grace of a true giallo, and ends up tossing out the mystery towards the end of the film.
Back to the plot of the movie, we are soon introduced to our would be hero, Kendall. He is the not best we have, but he gets the job done. He is studying for an exam or something, and is given a message to meet some girl in the pool. Kendall seems to be excited by this, but continues about his business. The note is picked up by someone else, whom we can assume is the killer. Cut to the girl waiting on Kendall to show up at the pool, and we find that she is not alone. The masked killer is able to get the girl out of the water, and takes her out with the old trusty chainsaw. The greens keeper seemly arrives and sees our hero Kendall looking at the body parts of the girl he was supposed to see. Kendall runs away, and the greens keeper is taken into custody, as the police charge in at the worst possible moment.
The greens keeper is not suspected as the killer for long, and a new plan is set in motion. It should be noted that after talking to Kendall, the police decide to make use of him on the case. The police bring a ex-pro tennis player, and she is to go masquerade as a tennis instructor at the college. Kendall is tasked with aiding her in her investigation, but Kendall is a horn dog, so you can bet he has other things on his mind as well.
On to one of the most odd scenes in the movie, while on campus there is a aerobics class of some sort going on, and one of the girls goes off to the bathroom, and gets a short scare from one of her' friends. Yet, there is someone waiting for her. The girl enters a elevator, and is soon introduced to someone that is completely covered up. Convenient, wouldn't you say? The killer soon pulls a fairly hefty chainsaw from under their coat, and arms start literally flying!
The police and Kendall discover the brutal scene, causing one cop to puke up some nasty looking bile. I would also like to point out the complete and utterly pointless inclusion of the scene with the tennis instructor and Kendall with the martial arts instructor (Bruce Le). The tennis instructor is walking around the campus at night and is seemingly attacked by a random would be assassin. The attacker is nailed in the jewels and drops instantly. Kendall comes upon the scene and talks everything out, as the man is the college karate instructor. I have no clue why Bruce Le was included in this scene. He has contributed to some awesome bruceploitation movies though, but this cameo just feels wasted and pointless.
Probably the most hilarious scene comes next. Kendall and the tennis instructor are taking part in some tennis activities. One of the tennis players decides to go to the washroom, but is given the surprise of her life. She is soon cut in half, and is found by Kendall and the tennis instructor. The tennis instructor delivers some lines that people see all of the time because of the movie clip, only to forever not truly understand this gem.
On to the climax of the film, the tennis instructor is invited to have a drink with the dean of the college, and Kendall and the police officers soon discover the truth behind the dean in one fell swoop. This leads towards his place, where they know that the tennis instructor is meeting with him. The tennis instructor is drugged by a drink made by the dean, and his unable to do anything to stop his plans. The dean is soon disposed of by the police, but the audience is given one final goodbye that doesn't make a lick of sense. The dean had been making a perfect woman to his specs, using the different parts of the girls he had killed. This assembled body was hiding behind a bookcase, and falls onto Kendall. The body then gains some sort of life and crushes some balls.
I have seen this movie around 10 times, and I still have no idea what this means. Perhaps, it is a lashing out against the penis. Regardless, the body that is shown hanging is different than the one that actually falls onto Kendall. This ending is confused and hilarious all at once. I really do love this film! It certainly isn't the greatest slasher of all time, but it provides an amazing amount of entertainment. This movie gets a solid 7 out of 10. See you next time!
